so i went to knotts today.. it was too cold to ride that new ride.. but it's all good.. at least we went on rides.. and ate yummy funnel cake... *drool*.. oh and i went to taste knotts' cake.. although diana could have gone there and had a cake tasting session in Radisson.. hehe.. i still bought that cake tho for my own.. =) but yeah.. i hung out with solar the whole day.. we were both broke so we had to wait 'til my mom came back before we bought food.. and Mrs. Lindgren stopped me again! haha last year she saw me @ knotts with Steve and Solar.. this year it was just him so she gave me that "what's going on" look and i just gave back a "what are you talking about" look. haha. oh man. i was suppose to be at either modern practice or MUN bowling.. but my mom wanted me to meet them there so yeah.. and yeah.. hehe. ok.. well my eyes are about to shut so niteynite! crap! i have to finish my website too! ay!! it's do Thursday!! yikes!!

my room is SO empty! the people picked it up today. I saw how clean my carpet used to be.. then i saw how flat and overused my carpet was right next to the nice carpet. so now i have to sleep on the floor... for like a couple weeks.. heck.. that's my bed for new years.. 2 comforters, 4 pillows, 2 more blankets for the cold winter nights.. a hug pillow and my tigger & eeyore stuffed animal.. yet.. that's my bed.. not as comfortable.. but just as good haha

cotillion practice is gonna be held at my house on thursday so people are gonna see my empty room and my messy hallway.. haha damn i got a lot of stuff! haha ok.. gotta work on position papers.. niteynite

i went to Chuck e cheese today! fun fun fun!.. except for the fact that food got stuck in the holes in my mouth.. but it's ALL good.. =) umm.. as for my last entry.. i have no clue what i was saying.. i guess i was just hurt.. dissappointed.. ummm.. unrewarded.. misused?? yeah i guess those are the words.. probably neglected too.. but eh.. life goes on. Can't do anything about it cuz hey.. shit happens right? but yeah... Trinity always cheer me up! =) She was a little grumpy when we got there but after we gave her pizza she was fine.. and she was flirting with boys! *gasp* she kept on staring @ these 2 boys that weren't even cute! they looked like after 10 years old n she was watching them play with spinning tops.. but she was like looking at me and smiling then looking back.. and i was like.. "oh no you don't!"so hilarious.. it one of those you just had to be there kind of things. Then she started flirting with Solar! haha that was funny.. she wanted to go to me just so i can give her to Solar.. quite funny! then Jen told me that after i left Trinity kept on looking at Solar and Marlon. HAHAH!! how cute! i swear i didn't teach her how to flirt! she's a natural! haha maybe i should see Trinity more often.. she knows how to put me in a happy mood.. ALWAYS.. =) not that i have friends that do.. it's just that kids had always gave me that sense of love that you can't get anywhere else.. it's like.. they WANT you there and not want you there out of pity. but yeah.. it's always fun.. when i grow up i want kids.. but i have to have them when i'm btwn. 24 and 30.. cuz having a baby after 30 comes with a lot of tests and needles and.. yucky stuff.. everyone tells me i'd be a great mom.. i just hope i am.. and i hope i don't go thru postpartum depression.. that's some scary stuff..

ok.. that was going WAY off topic.. hehe but yeah. that's how emi's world goes..

i watched Treasure Planet with Kyle .. no Trinity. =( it was too late for her to be up.. and i got a fighting fish! hehe my mom thought they looked cool so she bought one.. =) and i finally cleaned out my room! i'm FINALLY gonna get rid of the furniture this week! woo hoo! then i'm gonna haveta sleep on the floor for like a couple weeks. haha. oh well..

what's this?? a tear?? solar was right.. i'm not getting any better.. i'm only kidding myself.. i've been jipped out of everything..not once did i get my way.. not once was i able to voice my feelings.. not once was i able to get away from my problems.. not once did i win an arguement.. not once in my life did i get what i wanted out of it.. in the end i was robbed... in the end i was hurt.. in the end i was nothing.. and what now?? what am i suppose to do?? i can't pick up where i left off.. it's too hard..