yay! i got 2 new scarves! woo-hoo! i also got a dreambook! i've always wanted one but i keep forgeting that i wanted one. let's see.. last week of school was pretty hectic.. i was in the christmas rush and i still wasn't done shopping. haha but now i'm somewhat done.. everything else is gift certificates. haha i've been a good girl this year cuz i got a lot of gifts.. so far.. hehe. Cotillion practice was productive today! finally we're getting somewhere! and it's like a week and a half or so until the actual day! yikes! but yeah......

anywho.. my mom's gonna have surgery again.. bad timing.. doctor said she needed ASAP... that means even if she has to miss diana's cotillion and emily's party.. and once again (not to feel selfish or anything) i've been jipped out of what had a potential of being a GOOD christmas.. my mom hasn't been there for what i hoped was my SHINING moment.. she missed Premio de Oro last year.. she missed my piano recitial.. she ALMOST missed PCN.. if i didn't beg her.. and now that i have something to show.. something i came up with all on my own.. she might not be able to be there to watch me even tho i'm not the center of attention.. it's just knowing that i'm showing my mom all my hard work in a different form.. she said she'll watch the videotape... but it's not the same... if anything i'd feel guilty that i'm partying and she's stuck in bed.. and i wouldn't want to be wearing a fake smile on my face the whole night knowing my mom's not there to watch me.. her little girl performing a dance she put her heart and soul into.. even tho my efforts in coreographing aren't well appreciated.. at least having my mom there cheering me on makes everything i went through during the process all the worth while.. then i know i pleased someone... and there's a possiblity that i'll be robbed of that chance.. i'm not saying it's her fault.. i'm not saying it's anyone's fault for that matter.. it's just that i have to ask why now? why Christmas? why this year? why this moment? why do i just get jipped out of the good things in life around christmas? i know people have it worse off than i do.. people who don't even have a parent to show off to.. and i guess that's why i want to seize that moment while i know i can.. but if we don't get this surgery over with.. then it can get even worse...